We can't rewind life
by Strange Music
Summary: AU / WIP Influenced by Carol leaving him behind Luka make a decision on a May Day. A decision that might heal or break him.
1. A turn in the Road

Title: I don't want to be alone anymore / Nobody's boy  
Author: Strange Music  
Pairing: Friendship Dave/Luka (not in this one but in the next chapter)  
Summary: Some things in our life we can't change. We are subjected to the unknown forces called fate. But sometimes we just can stand aside and just look. And Luka knew that for once he had done enough looking. AU / WIP Influenced by Carol leaving him behind Luka make a decision on a May Day. A decision that might heal or break him.   
Email: Strange_music@hotmail.com  
Spoiler: Spoiler for May Day about Luka's storyline. (I can't help myself this episode just inspires me. Wouldn't have guessed it ;))   
Disclaimer: Do not own ER. Do not own Luka, Dave, Carter or any other members of the ER. They belong to their respective owners. And to the wonderful people that bring them to life by playing them.   
  
We can't rewind Life  
by Strange Music  
  
Hello darkness my old friend  
I've come to talk to you again  
Because a vision softly creeping  
Left it's seeds while I was sleeping  
And the vision that was planted in my brain  
Still remains, within the sounds of silence  
  
He knew that the moment he made the decision that he was risking everything he had worked for in the last few years. The works he had taken just so that he could work as a doctor in the states.   
  
It seemed like getting this Green Card had been one of the hardest things he ever accomplished.  
  
And beside that after he arrived in America to start his new life while leaving the old one behind it had been like he had started his Career as a doctor once again.   
  
Leaning the language.  
  
Learning the new expressions in medicine.  
  
And now he was risking it all.  
  
For all he knew what he was doing might also get him either into Prison or deported back to his home country. And there was nothing that drew him back there. Even his parents weren't no longer there had already left behind the burned out ruin of what had been their house. It had been destroyed during the last fights only a few years ago. They were now in Vienna living with his father's brother.  
  
He prepared a few more things and then softly closed the bag. But not without leaving a small part open.   
  
Then the hardest part began.  
  
Getting out of the hospital without anybody noticing it.  
  
The adrenalin and fear were running alongside in his veins. Making it an funny feeling.  
  
A few more steps.  
  
"Luka!"  
  
Kerry's voice had almost caused his heart to stop beating. Of all the people that he didn't want to run into Kerry Weaver was head of them all. She had the almost psychic ability to know when they where lying.  
  
But he couldn't run.   
  
So and turned around to her. Praying it would go without problem.  
  
"Kerry? Still here? I thought your shift ended already 3 hours ago."  
  
She looked like he caught her with this.  
  
Almost stammering when she answered something about having to work up on a few files.  
  
"But what I wanted to talk with you. We will be two people short in the next few days and I might need you on a few extra shifts."  
  
He couldn't do anything else. He took a breath.  
  
Smiled a smile that was hopefully not a false as it felt. And then said yes.  
  
"Thanks Luka. I knew I could count on you. And now go and home and get some rest."  
  
"Thanks.."  
  
"And Luka" there was compassion in her voice "I am sorry about what happened. I wish that there would have been more we could have done for that child."  
  
"Yes…so do I."  
  
"You want to talk….."  
  
"Another time Kerry. I would really like to get home. It had been a long day."  
  
She didn't say anything else. Just smiled sadly at him and went back to the computer  
  
And with that he turned around and left. Finally making it to the and through exist without another stop.  
  
Relived like never before to leave the hospital behind.   
  
The ride in the El went unlike unspectacular.  
  
But only when he reached his flat and closed the door behind himself he was able to breath easier.  
  
As carefully as he had carried the bag all the way from the hospital as carefully he now laid it on the bed.   
  
From this moment on his life would be different he knew.   
  
Had known it ever since he had made this decision hours ago.   
  
The moment he had made given her the drug that made not only *her* sleep.  
  
The moment he had lifted of the contacts on her stomach ever so slightly.  
  
Yet when he opened the bag he knew that it would be worth it.   
  
All these things.  
  
All the trouble were worth the small hands that curiously reached out for him.  
  
And eyes that blinked sleepy. Seemingly the light sedative had run off just on time.   
  
Reaching down he took the young child out of the bag. Still wrapped in the towel that he had clad the boy in Luka softly whispered to him as he carried him around.  
  
There were things to do. Cloth and food to buy. And he had to find someone to take care of the little one while he was not at home.   
  
He sat down looking at the child in his arms.  
  
His own mother hadn't wanted him and a hospital full of people…doctors. Had just stood aside and looked as she let him die…  
  
But he couldn't he had seen too much senseless loss in his time.   
  
And as he watched the little eyes close to sleep again he knew that despite what would come he had made the right decision.  
  
He knew that it wouldn't definitely not be easy.  
  
But he would make it.  
  
Each day at a time.  
  
To be continued……   



	2. Trouble if there would be none...

Not yet completly Dave part yet..but the start of it. So I don't have to fear revenge  
have I?  
  
In restless dreams I walked alone  
Narrow streets of cobblestones  
'Neath a halo of a street lamp  
I turned my collar to the cold and damp  
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light  
That split the night, and touched the sounds of silence  
  
'Sound of Silence' by Simon and Garfunkel  
  
We can't rewind life  
Chapter 2   
  
The first few weeks had gone by so easy that he had actually started to think that there might   
be hope. That there might be a chance that everything in life for the first time would work his   
way.   
  
His flat was now completely baby decorated. With a bed clothes and food and some other small   
things like the little teddy that Paul was currently clutching like it was a lifeline. He was   
almost broke now but it was worth it.   
  
During the day his neighbour would take care of the boy. For her the boy was his nephew and   
he had taken in till his real mother was able to do so again. That she had flown to the United   
States and was now working on building her life her.   
  
And when anybody at the hospital noticed that his eyes were more than just bloodshot they   
didn't say anything about it.  
  
He had been lucky that little Paul had been seemingly further than in his eight month.   
So all that had to be taken care of were the same things as on any newborn.   
  
Beside the formula that he would have to be fed instead of the mother milk. But the little guy   
didn't seemed to care. Not when he lay in his arms after being fed and looked up at him with   
sleepy but contend eyes.  
  
He was like any other baby. Just that he was dead for everybody but Luka. He had a death   
certificate written on the name John Doe. As his mother didn't even care enough to give him a   
name. And that was why John Doe died and Paul would live on.   
  
And later when he would be a bit bigger he could tell them same tale as he had told his   
neighbour. Nobody would suspect anything.   
  
He should have known that life didn't let it go on that way.   
  
It had never let him get away with being just happy before.   
  
At least not since that day 9 years ago. When he lost everything that mattered to him.   
  
Ever since than there life had seemingly decided to not let him take the easy road.   
  
***~***~***  
  
It was at 4 o'clock in the morning that he was woken up by the Paul screaming in his cradle.   
Stumbling out of bed he was prepared for the unusual wishes.   
  
Not that he didn't understand it completely. He would be screaming too if he would have to   
lie in a puddle of wet or feel the hunger. Or simply be scared of a nightmare. It just didn't   
help his sleep very much if all things happened in one night.  
  
Then just after he took Paul out of the bed he smelled it. The burning smell of plastic.   
  
And when he looked out of the window he saw that the outside was lit by a glow that not   
natural for this time of the day.   
  
Fire  
  
Wrapping Paul in his blanket he holstered him up putting and went outside. The hallway not   
filled up with smoke but slowly it was starting to get harder to breath.   
  
One door after the other he knocked on. Shouting the danger with Paul doing his best to   
underline it that things were not okay by wailing like seldom before.  
  
He made it clear that he was not happy about the situation either.  
  
"I understand you little one. I understand you." Then finally as all neighbours had left their   
flats he went over to Mrs. LaFasta and put Paul in her hands "Go down the fire escape into the   
back alley."  
  
She just nodded and then left with the other following shortly.  
  
He knew that he had to at least had to look if there would be anything that he could do for the   
people downstairs. The Neuers or the Korman. But he had only gotten as far as half of the   
stair when he knew that it was senseless. The fire was already almost halfway up the stairs   
and the smoke was getting thicker and thicker by the seconds. He knew that he should leave   
soon.   
  
Turning around he went up the stairs again. Already feeling the caught start in his chest.   
Closing the doors as he passed he hoped that it would help in case the fire department was   
able to stop the fire before it reached the 3rd floor.  
  
He was already hearing their sirens as they stopped at the building. So all that he could do   
now was hope and get his ass out of here as fast as possible.   
  
Another caught.  
  
This time even deeper.   
  
He quickened his pacing and hurried down the stairs.   
  
***~***~***  
  
For the next 1 hour he ran between helping the firemen at the first aid and telling the other   
people at the house what the situation was.  
  
Then it all was over.  
  
And the result was as hopeful as it was demoralizing. The fireman had been able to stop the   
fire before it had reached the third floor. But the stone stairway connecting the floors had   
collapsed under the heat of the fire and the cold of the water.   
  
They would be able to get a few things out of the flat tomorrow. After some specialist had   
made sure that it was safe. But they would have to look for a place to stay for at least 4 weeks.   
As this was the estimated time that it would take to get a temporary stairway for the house.   
Also it would take some times till all fumes where out of it. Fumes that where to dangerous as   
for him to risk staying here with Paul even when climbing up and down the fire escape.   
  
But where to stay till then. It wasn't as if he had any relatives that he could go too and with   
Paul he couldn't go into a hotel. He couldn't just leave him there all day long while he was on   
duty. And he couldn't go too Kerry or Mark, it would be their duty to report it. And others   
too. Benton for example. He thought about Abby but quickly dismissed as he remembered   
about the rumour that had been going on at the ER for some time. The real reason why Carter   
had taken his sudden vacation. And that she had been the one telling.   
  
No matter how well-meaning it had been it still didn't make her a very trustworthy place to   
go too with his trouble.  
  
Actually with Carol gone there was only one person that he could think of. And so he thanked   
Mrs. LaFasta for taking care of Paul. Relieved that the bear was still tightly wrapped in his   
fingers. As he was still tightly wrapped in the blanket. Luka himself was not that lucky as he   
stood a little freezing in the windy street. With only his jacket and his pyjama trousers.   
  
At least he had his car keys.  
  
He went to the paramedics to have his and Paul's blood tested for the degree of smoke   
inhalation. And with an worried expression on the paramedics face, who would have preferred   
to take Luka for a closer check up he left them behind.   
  
To drive to his destination.  
  
***~~~***~~~***  
  
Saying Dave was surprised at the sight that greeted him when he opened the door would have   
clearly understatement of things.  
  
A black scorched only half-dressed, in pyjama-pants, Luka was definitely not something he   
had expected.  
  
And of course there was also the Baby.  
  
.......To be CONTINUED:::  
  
Like it so far? Hate it so far....Comments Complains Corrections and more   
to follow soon.  
  
Funny Thought of the day: Scare you mother by asking her about childcare. (Yes I am childless)  
  
  



End file.
